New Report: Microscopic Scorpions Crawl On You While You Sleep

microscopic scorpion Phoenix, AZ—A study conducted by The University of Phoenix has found, that during an average night's sleep, some 300 microscopic scorpions unknowingly crawl across your face, neck, and body as you slumber. These microscopic scorpions, which look a lot like lint when bunched together, are confined to the State of Arizona; but researchers fear outbreaks in Texas, and isolated parts of Nevada and Southern Utah are inevitable. It’s important to note that these microscopic scorpions cannot sting humans, unlike their cousin the Bark Scorpion. Their stingers are simply too small. The University of Phoenix’s lead entomologist, a Klaus Meine, issued the following statement regarding the microscopic scorpions:
"As you sleep, you become a virtual playground for these creeping pests just mere minutes after you fall asleep; inhaling dozens of the scorpions and swallowing at least 20 during an eight-hour period."
It gets worse. Meine added,
“While these microscopic scorpions are drawn to the moist and humid areas of the nose and mouth, they will also spend each night birthing hundreds of their young in and around your armpits.”
There is one surefire way to tell if you have a microscopic scorpion infestation, Meine continued.
“Like all other scorpions, these microscopic scorpions give live birth. Victims who suffer from a microscopic scorpion infestation will awaken with scorpion afterbirth in their bed sheets. It’s about this time a victim should know they are not alone in bed.”
At this time homeowners in Arizona, Texas, Nevada, New Mexico and Utah should be on high alert. There is no known cure for the microscopic scorpions, as this is a new report.  

*** Update: The Horrifying Truth About Microscopic Scorpions

The truth is, microscopic scorpions are not real, and according to this report, we do not swallow scorpions, spiders, or any other insect while we sleep.

April Fools!

   
1-888-591-7443

Get a Quote




Satisfied Customers

Peter Austin, TX
5/5
I have been with Bulwark for over 5 yrs. In that time I have had many different technicians. None can come close to comparing to Roger. He is prompt, pleasant, polite, neat and clean ( not easy the when the temp outside can reach 104). He takes the time to answer any questions. He makes a point to do the job right, it is obvious he takes pride in his work ethic and good old fashioned customer service! Not something you get much of in this day and age. he is a professioinal in every since of the word. I do not allow any other technician to care for my exterminating needs Your company is lucky to have this man. If not for him I would no longer be a customer and I dread the day he, if or when he is no longer with your company. TerriC‎
Test 1-888-591-7443
ANY QUESTIONS?
There are no agents available at this time.
Leave a Message